I'm just me. Not too ordinary, not too special either. I'm just a woman who loves the colour orange a lot. I'm weird sometimes, but everyone is once in awhile right.

* A life with no worries * My own ride * A PhD in Child clinical psychology * Travel around the world (for real!) * You, the boy with the sweetest smile, yes you

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Sheila
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February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008

designer DancingSheep
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I made a promise, that after the 100th post of this blog, I'll move.

It pains me to leave this place.
A place of many heartfelt words.
A place of memories.
A place of emotions.
A place of truth.
A place of lies.
A place of imaginations.
A place of innovations.
A place of fantasies.
A place where I defined "ME".
A place where I found myself.
A place where I can escape.
A place where I recover.
A place where I rant.

As reluctant as I am to leave, a promise is, a promise.
I never thought that I'd be attached to something in the virtual world, but I did.
People say change is always good. But really, is it ALWAYS good?
People need consistencies in life. So, why would some desire change so badly?

In life, you met many people. Some goes on to become your acquaintances. Some goes on to become your friends. And some goes beyond that. Have you ever thought, a random stranger you met in the most unlikely place of all, will give you the best lesson in life you've ever learnt? Have you ever thought, a stranger you met, will give you the best advice that anyone else can never give? It happened to me today... Thank you is all I can say.

I have been reluctant to write this last post, and now I'm reluctant to end it. My head is so jumbled up. My feelings are so mixed up. I don't know how to express myself today. There are so many things I want to say, but words can never measure up. What I'm going to say next may not make sense to anyone else but me.

I don't like the fact that I'm not in control.
I don't like the fact that everything you do/say affect me in ways I have never imagined.
I don't like knowing that you have such an impact in my life.
I don't like how you changed the way I act.
I don't like the person I'm turning into because of you.
But whatever it is, thank you for entering my life.


xoxo,
MeR

~Above all things, I believe in love~

Today, I was at borders and was just flipping through books that looked interesting. And then I came across this:

Believe in the power of love; that you too can transform reality. You are not your past - you are your future. Know that, and you will create something extraordinary.

It's funny how dreams can affect you the next morning, whether you remember it, or you don't.
Whatever dreams you had, be it good or bad, will determine your mood for the next day. Well, that is if you have a dream.
And in a way, the dreams you had will affect the way you feel for the person you dreamt of. You may feel angry towards that person, happy, or you'll start to like that person, be it in a romantic way or just plain platonic.
The scary thing is we just can't control what we are going to dream of.




That dream of you left me disoriented.

Stop the complaining.
Stop the whining.

Be thankful that you are living a life.

I breathed in a familiar smell.

All the memories just come rushing.

Damn, that smell!

Like the wave, you swept away everything I've carved on the sand.

But then again, nothing lasts forever right?

Believe it or not, I'm obsessed with finding you, Mr Stranger. Freaky huh?

This is a song for you, dearest (refer to post titled "Random Thoughts", 17/09/2008), wishing you all the best =)

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's just damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

You've been a total bitch. What the fuck is wrong with you?


selfish possessive bitch

Everything else has to wait, because I have something really important (well, at least to me) to say.

I met a stranger today who sweeps me off my feet. As strange as it sounds, I feel a connection. So, here goes:

Dear Mr stranger,

Whoever you are, I don't know. I know that you're also Indonesian. I saw you in Greco at Crown today at around 7.30ish, 7.40ish plus at night, you were with another 2 friends at first and another one joined you after . We made a couple of eye contacts. Even while you were waiting outside, I noticed you looking. I wasn't sure it was me you were looking at. But the second and third time I looked, I was pretty sure it was me. The electrifying eye contacts we made completely blew me off. I wanted to smile at you but I was too shy. I couldn't hold the gaze long enough to let you know that "hey, I think you're cute". I noticed too, that before you left, you turned around to have one last look. I regretted not giving you a smile then. So, if fate allows, hope we will cross paths again. I hope by then I will have the courage to smile at you. Till we meet again, Mr Stranger.

Love,
MeR


p.s: Do these things only happen in movies?

Sorry for being away for quite a while (like anybody cares). I have a pretty good reason. My computer decided that it's time it consumed some viruses, and so it did. Due to some complication, it had to be sent to the "hospital" (a.ka. Service center). Got it back on Monday but was busy installing all the programmes and songs. So here I am.. Using Jeannie's computer while she's happily snoring away. Erica is beside me still engrossed in Facebook. Staying over at clayton for 2 nights. And now I'm going off to bed.. Night world~


P.S: While away, I did write some things on paper, but don't have it with me now. Will update when I get home. Ciao~

There's a thin line between LOVE and HATE.

Rather than wasting your energy to passionately HATE someone, why not passionately LOVE another?

Did it ever cross your mind that you will die alone?
Did it ever cross your mind that you will spend the rest of your life by yourself?
Did it scare you?

How do strangers become friends and then become strangers again?



A letter for you:


Dearest,

I'm afraid to lose you. But I'm also afraid that the tighter I hold on to you, the more you'll try to get away. Just being the way we are is enough for me.

You're someone who's too good to be true. I wouldn't ask for more than what I've already gotten. But if I could, I want to give you more than what I've already given. If you'd allow me to, I would give you my all. I keep hoping that one day, you'll see me in a different light.

No matter what happens in the future, you'll always be that special person who occupies that particular corner in my heart. You're not ordinary, you're extraordinary. You're not like others, you're unique.

I admire you for your confidence, (as strange as it sounds) your cockiness, your independence, your perseverance.

I am just the coward who can't tell you how I really feel. I can do nothing but wish that one day you'll see right through me like I am a transparent glass. You're too special to lose..


Love,
MeR




P.S:. I love you

Should I move to wordpress?

Sometimes I am ashamed to have a __________ like you, being controlled by another human being who should not have the right to do that. When are you going to start standing up for yourself and your _______??



Love,
MeR

Spring has arrived. The air is warmer and less crisp.
I hate this kind of transition between seasons, because almost everyone around me is falling sick!!! So, at this time, Vitamin C is my new best friend.


Season of love, season of heartbreak, season of sickness -.-

Welcome back, Spring!

Yesterday, I flipped through the pages of Book of My Life. I smiled looking at the colourful pages created by the happy memories. I teared looking at the black and white pages which give out sadness and sorrow. When I close the book, I look at the cover. It was beautiful beyond words. It was simply breathtaking. I realise, it is the mixture of colourful pages and the black and white pages that made the cover of the book to be so brilliant. Without that mix, it would be just like other ordinary books.




And yesterday, we toast to the happy memories. =)

You can't have everything in life.

You gain a thing, you lose a thing.
You gain a friend, you lose a friend.

Is that really how life works?? Because if it is, I don't want to meet new people because I love all the people who are in my life right now. Can I do that?


P.S: Still at law library. Still trying to finish my lab report.