I'm just me. Not too ordinary, not too special either. I'm just a woman who loves the colour orange a lot. I'm weird sometimes, but everyone is once in awhile right.

* A life with no worries * My own ride * A PhD in Child clinical psychology * Travel around the world (for real!) * You, the boy with the sweetest smile, yes you

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Sheila
Nad
Devina
Gigi
Herman
Elvira

February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008

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This is a song for you, dearest (refer to post titled "Random Thoughts", 17/09/2008), wishing you all the best =)

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's just damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

You've been a total bitch. What the fuck is wrong with you?


selfish possessive bitch

Everything else has to wait, because I have something really important (well, at least to me) to say.

I met a stranger today who sweeps me off my feet. As strange as it sounds, I feel a connection. So, here goes:

Dear Mr stranger,

Whoever you are, I don't know. I know that you're also Indonesian. I saw you in Greco at Crown today at around 7.30ish, 7.40ish plus at night, you were with another 2 friends at first and another one joined you after . We made a couple of eye contacts. Even while you were waiting outside, I noticed you looking. I wasn't sure it was me you were looking at. But the second and third time I looked, I was pretty sure it was me. The electrifying eye contacts we made completely blew me off. I wanted to smile at you but I was too shy. I couldn't hold the gaze long enough to let you know that "hey, I think you're cute". I noticed too, that before you left, you turned around to have one last look. I regretted not giving you a smile then. So, if fate allows, hope we will cross paths again. I hope by then I will have the courage to smile at you. Till we meet again, Mr Stranger.

Love,
MeR


p.s: Do these things only happen in movies?

Sorry for being away for quite a while (like anybody cares). I have a pretty good reason. My computer decided that it's time it consumed some viruses, and so it did. Due to some complication, it had to be sent to the "hospital" (a.ka. Service center). Got it back on Monday but was busy installing all the programmes and songs. So here I am.. Using Jeannie's computer while she's happily snoring away. Erica is beside me still engrossed in Facebook. Staying over at clayton for 2 nights. And now I'm going off to bed.. Night world~


P.S: While away, I did write some things on paper, but don't have it with me now. Will update when I get home. Ciao~

There's a thin line between LOVE and HATE.

Rather than wasting your energy to passionately HATE someone, why not passionately LOVE another?

Did it ever cross your mind that you will die alone?
Did it ever cross your mind that you will spend the rest of your life by yourself?
Did it scare you?

How do strangers become friends and then become strangers again?



A letter for you:


Dearest,

I'm afraid to lose you. But I'm also afraid that the tighter I hold on to you, the more you'll try to get away. Just being the way we are is enough for me.

You're someone who's too good to be true. I wouldn't ask for more than what I've already gotten. But if I could, I want to give you more than what I've already given. If you'd allow me to, I would give you my all. I keep hoping that one day, you'll see me in a different light.

No matter what happens in the future, you'll always be that special person who occupies that particular corner in my heart. You're not ordinary, you're extraordinary. You're not like others, you're unique.

I admire you for your confidence, (as strange as it sounds) your cockiness, your independence, your perseverance.

I am just the coward who can't tell you how I really feel. I can do nothing but wish that one day you'll see right through me like I am a transparent glass. You're too special to lose..


Love,
MeR




P.S:. I love you

Should I move to wordpress?

Sometimes I am ashamed to have a __________ like you, being controlled by another human being who should not have the right to do that. When are you going to start standing up for yourself and your _______??



Love,
MeR

Spring has arrived. The air is warmer and less crisp.
I hate this kind of transition between seasons, because almost everyone around me is falling sick!!! So, at this time, Vitamin C is my new best friend.


Season of love, season of heartbreak, season of sickness -.-

Welcome back, Spring!

Yesterday, I flipped through the pages of Book of My Life. I smiled looking at the colourful pages created by the happy memories. I teared looking at the black and white pages which give out sadness and sorrow. When I close the book, I look at the cover. It was beautiful beyond words. It was simply breathtaking. I realise, it is the mixture of colourful pages and the black and white pages that made the cover of the book to be so brilliant. Without that mix, it would be just like other ordinary books.




And yesterday, we toast to the happy memories. =)

You can't have everything in life.

You gain a thing, you lose a thing.
You gain a friend, you lose a friend.

Is that really how life works?? Because if it is, I don't want to meet new people because I love all the people who are in my life right now. Can I do that?


P.S: Still at law library. Still trying to finish my lab report.

"God's work is flawless."

I have to agree. This is not going to be a religious post or anything.

Recently, I have been facing a lot of problems. Be it with uni, personal or social. I was at a breaking point. I wanted to wave the white flag and say "I'm done. That's it, I'm taking no more."
Just when I was about to do that, the problems seemed to be solved one by one.
I got into thinking, this didn't happen only once. How many times in my life I've wanted to throw in the towel; countless.. But every single time before I get the chance to do that, everything seems to get better. That's when I realise, He will not put us in a situation where we cannot handle. He will not leave us in despair cause it hurts Him just as much to see us at the lowest point of our lives.

But He has to put us through all that shits to make us learn. We, as human beings are so ignorant. We take things for granted. We don't know what's really good for us. We don't know when to learn from out mistakes. We have to go through all the bad things we're going through.

All of it make us a better person. All of it shapes the person we become. All of it helps us get through life.

After realising all this, I can't promise that I'll stop whining whenever some bad things happen to me. I can't promise I'll stop complaining when I have many problems. But I can promise that I'll never stop praying, for He will always be there to listen.

When the whole world turn its back on me, I know He is still going to be there to guide me. I'm not perfect, I don't go to church every sunday, but He loves me for my imperfection and I'll always have FAITH in Him...


P.S: I'm at Melbourne Uni's Law library atm.. Supposed to be finishing up my Personality and Social Psychology lab report. -_-" Will get back to it now. Ta~ everyone.

P.P.S: This is not a post to promote Christianity. It is just my experience.

Listening to a love song.
Strolling under the sun.
Feeling the warmth underneath my skin.
Wishing all the troubles will melt away..



The Sound of White - Missy Higgins

And if I listen to, the sound of white,
sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light.
Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white ..
You're my mystery. One mystery.

"sorry" has been uttered. what else is there to do?

Fuck the world.. Fuck it all..

Jika hati bisa berbicara,
Tidak lagi akan ada kebingungan.
Jika hati bisa berbicara,
Tidak lagi akan ada pertanyaan.
Jika hati bisa berbicara,
Kau akan tahu apa yang kurasakan.
Jika hati bisa berbicara.....

Stayed home the whole day to clean the room. It feels so good now cause every single corner is clean and tidy. The satisfaction... Just pure bliss. I do enjoy cleaning though I'm very lazy. Ironic I know. But it's very refreshing to see something dirty/ messy becomes clean and tidy.

I'm supposed to be doing my assignments but can't help, the room is way too messy for me to concentrate. Awrighty, it's time for me to clean myself up.

P.S: Gonna have pizza for dinner. Yeay!!

P.P.S: Where are you?

I can't do this on my own..

Does it have to be this way?

Slight progress in essay. Still long way to go.
Can't wait for the holidays.


You've been a distraction, P.
You've been occupying my mind.
But I don't mind a single bit.
When I close my eyes, you are all that I see.

You're the sunshine in my gloomy days.
You're the tiny bright light at the end of the tunnel.
You're the strength in my weakest hour.
You're, YOU.

I'm feeling a little under the weather today, for a reason I don't even know. I guess I've been happy for awhile already and now it's time for me to be all sad and sappy.

Emotions.
They come and go like the wind.
One moment you feel like you're on top of the world,
One moment you feel like you're walking through hell.
Emotions.
Are some fucked up feelings that mess with you.
Are some feelings that keep you going in life.
Do we have to experience all these?


God, please help me make it through this 3 weeks of hell.

"The most difficult lesson to learn is: Which bridge in life to use or which one to break off."

"You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now."

For my special friends (you know who you are), THANK YOU

"The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish the most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity."

I'm totally in love with these heels. Will someone get them for me??
It's not that they are expensive, it's just that they are sold in Forever21 and Australia doesn't have Forever21! DANG! It's going to cost me AU$45 just for the shipping fee if I order them online. Friends in US, get it for me pleaseeee....

Today was a really tough day at uni. I was moody, super stress! Lunch made my mood better though, meeting with the girls, laughing at tze, asking stupid questions to the guys (i.e. Would you rather marry a man who looks like a woman or a woman who looks like a man? Would you rather sleep with a gorilla who looks like a woman or a man who looks like a gorilla? and a few others).

The thought of assignments totally killed my brain cells and make me go crazy. It's really piling up and it's time for me to start on something but instead here I am updating this blog. Well, that's because I have something happy to share with you! It only affects me though.

After a rough day in uni, the highlight of the day was one of my lab classes.

Thank you for smiling at me P. It totally made my day and lighten up my mood. (Still blushing... And my heart still flutters when I think of it). Throughout the 2h lab, my heart was beating really fast. *sigh*


P.S: Thank you for helping me make it through this rough day.